Trek!!

Trek has been over for 3 months now but I guess posting about it late is better than never. Trek was one of the most exhausting experiences of my life. The preparations leading up to the actual 3-day event were stressful and incredibly time-consuming but I wouldn't trade the experience for the world. We have amazing youth in our ward and I loved sharing this experience with them. My sacrificies seem so small and insignificant compared to what the pioneers endured. This is a picture of our family. I am the frumpy pregnant lady in case you couldn't tell. If "cute pregnant picture" is an oxymoron then "cute pregnant lady dressed up in pioneer clothing" is the ultimate oxymoron. The kids pulled me in the handcart a lot. I could walk (albeit not very fast) but they felt bad for me and wanted to help, so I let them.

Preparing for Baby

The waiting game has begun! The baby showers are over, my paycheck is dwindling, and I don't think that I can get any bigger. My due date is Sunday the 31st but I was hoping that she would be here by now. Until she decides to make her appearance I am doing my best to enjoy the time before she comes. This is a picture from my ward/neighborhood shower. Thanks again Crystal, Marie, Kelsie, and Camyll! I feel very loved and spoiled!

The nursery is pretty much ready and waiting to become occupied...

Carl has been nesting too. This is the project he has been working on this fall- building a couple of garden boxes in our little backyard. He will also be putting in a new brick patio.

I've decided that "cute pregnant picture" is an oxymoron because I don't look cute in any of my pregnant pictures, but for those who are interested here is a recent picture of me. This was taken about 2 weeks ago and I continue to get even bigger every day. If this baby doesn't come out soon I think my stomach may split open- I don't know how much more my poor body can handle!

Why Go Private?

Besides the fact that I am going to have a baby very soon and want to be able to post about her without worrying about creeps on the internet stalking us, I am also going private to protect my family when Carl is deployed next year. I want to be able to document my feelings and struggles during the experience without the whole world knowing that he is gone. I feel much safer this way. This upcoming deployment feels like a heavy shadow over my life right now in the midst of so much change already taking place, and I am hoping it will be therapeutic to share my thoughts with people I know care about me and love me. Basically what it comes down to is the fact that I am the wussiest military wife in the history of military wives. Most of our flight school friends have already experienced at least one (sometimes two or three) deployments and this is our first so I know I don't have any right to whine about it. But that doesn't change the fact that I will. The deployment is still about a year away but I still cry about it at times when I talk about it (sorry again Mary Ann for the meltdown I had on the phone with you a couple weeks ago). We are still a year from the actual deployment but starting in January Carl will be gone a lot for training. Here is the rough schedule of Carl's next couple of years (keeping in mind that it is the military and they excel at changing things at the last minute):



Mid-January through mid-May: Training at Fort Rucker, Alabama

June: 2-3 weeks of summer camp

July: Gunnery training at Mountain Home Air Force Base, Idaho

~August through October: Pre-deployment training at Fort Hood, Texas

~November 2011 through November 2012: Deployment in Iraq



The decision weighing on my mind right now is whether or not to go to Alabama with Carl for 4 months this winter. Part of me shudders at the thought of taking a newborn baby across the country for that long, but I really want my daughter to spend as much time with her daddy as possible while she can. I don't think we will really know for sure what the right decision is until after she is born. Until we make any final decisions, we will enjoy the time we have together now.

Going Private

I have a love/hate relationship with this blog. There I times that I feel I have so much to share but I worry about who will be reading it, so I just don't post. There are many changes coming into our lives in the next weeks and months and although I want to document these changes and share them with those I know and love, I want to have control over who can view it. So, if you want to continue reading this blog please leave a comment on this post, contact me on Facebook, or email me. Thanks for the understanding!

May was CRAZY!!

Let me start by saying that I am a glutton for punishment. I recognize this weakness and am working on turning it into a strength. Until that day comes, I have a feeling my life will remain crazy. For example, I am at work in early May when my boss calls and wants to talk to me. Somehow in a 5 minute conversation I agree to give an hour long presentation 4 weeks later at the Utah Pharmacists Association Convention (aka "The Dork Convention"). I need to send my presentation title and objective to the UPhA director later that same day and have my full presentation prepared, slideshow and all, less than 2 weeks later. Fortunately for me the presentation went very well and I actually had a nice time at convention (the fact that it is held in St. George and I went with 2 of my favorite technicians helped immensely).

I also had the wonderful, fabulous, incredible opportunity to fly to Austin, TX over Memorial Day weekend for a girls-only getaway with 4 of my roommates from freshman year at BYU. I've come to realize that it probably isn't the brightest thing in the world to allow 18 year-old girls to live alone together without "adult" supervision but I wouldn't trade that year of my life for anything, and I am so grateful that I am still in touch with these amazing women. It has been over 10 years since we first met and life has taken us in many different directions. I love how when we get together again it is like nothing ever changed. What a wonderful feeling it is to be known so well (through ups and downs and mistakes and trials, etc. etc.) and yet still be liked. We had a great time eating lots of authentic Texas barbecue (if I was anemic before I'm not anymore after all the red meat I ate), floating down the river, hiking "pregnant-lady" style (3 out of the 5 of us are pregnant at the moment so we couldn't exert ourselves too intenseley), shopping, looking at old picture albums, and talking late into the night. Thanks again ladies for creating more wonderful memories with me.
Somewhere in the middle of crazy May I also found out that I am having a baby girl!! I paid extra for a gender ultrasound at 16 weeks (I'm not impatient, just really excited) and sure enough, she's a girl. Carl and I didn't have a preference either way, but I admit it is really fun to know...not that I've had any time to actually shop for any cute girl stuff or begin looking at nursery colors...that will happen in August after Trek is over. For those of you who asked, I am due on October 31st and have been feeling great. I was slightly nauseous from 6-11 weeks but have felt really good since. Maybe I've earned an easy pregnancy after all the difficulties I had getting pregnant. My 20 week ultrasound is next week and I am excited and nervous at the same time. The gender ultrasound wasn't diagnostic in any way so there is a chance that something could be wrong and it just hasn't been discovered yet. I'll think positive. I am also hoping to get a good view of her face. At the gender ultrasound she was hiding her face and so all I got were beautiful pictures of her bum and her foot. Hopefully next week I'll be posting ultrasound pictures of her profile too.

Goodnight until then!

The magic of ordinary days

Several years ago I read a book titled "The Magic of Ordinary Days." I don't remember who wrote it or that it was a particularly life-changing story, but I do remember the title. It seems like my life is filled with ordinary days. Not in a bad, "my life is so miserable and dull" sort of way (I'm not writing this post for the sake of complaining or venting), just in a "not a lot changes from day-to-day" sort of way. I get up in the morning, go to work, come home, and start over the next day. I'm not a horrible pharmacist but I don't consider myself to be amazingly outstanding at my job either. I can be very impatient, easily frustrated, and I feel like there are days where every ounce of compassion is sucked out of me like a date with a dementor. I love working with the Young Women at church, but I wonder if everything I ever say to them goes in one ear and out the other. I am very grateful for the opportunity I have to plan Trek this year, but in so doing I feel like every one of my weaknesses and insecurites is staring me blatantly right in the face (if you ever need a good laugh, ask me about the borderline nervous breakdown I had last week because I couldn't schedule the cultural hall at the church for a Trek mutual activity. If ever you need verification of your own sanity, this should do the trick). Don't get me wrong, I love my ordinary life. I've never been the type that feels jealous of celebrities or powerful people. There is comfort in predictability and ambiguity. The trick is finding the magic in ordinary days. I'm not always good at it, but I'm trying. I have experiences at work almost every day where the little things I do or say make someone's day. I've seen many YW I've worked with grow into beautiful, amazing women. Trek may be the death of me, but I have a wonderful support system of friends and neighbors who are willing to help me out with planning and preparations. And just yesterday I got to hear the beautiful sound of a tiny heartbeat belonging to a life growing inside of me. THAT was a magical sound that I've been waiting a long time to hear. Not to mention the fact that every single ordinary day I get to be married to a wonderful man.
Speaking of the wonderful man, here is a picture of us taken last week during a hike to the Battle Creek waterfall in Pleasant Grove (I'm embarrassed to admit that it's been so long since I've posted a picture on my blog that I almost forgot how to plug my camera into the computer...maybe when the baby comes in October I'll actually turn in to a good blogger...I guess only time will tell).

A Few Things I Love Right Now

Simply because I have nothing better to blog about, here are a few things I love right now:

Dave Ramsey- For those of you who don't know, Dave Ramsey is a financial guru whose main goal is to get Americans out of debt. He has a radio show that broadcasts (at least in Utah) in the evenings from 7:00 to 10:00 (go to www.DaveRamsey.com for more info). Carl and I really started on his plan about 9 months ago and I can't even begin to tell you how much it has helped. We cut up the credit cards, completely paid off my student loans, and paid for a 3 week trip to Europe WITH CASH in part from Dave's help. We started living on a budget, and although we don't always stick perfectly to the budget, I know where every penny goes every month. It is great to have control over your money. He wrote a book called "The Total Money Makeover" which is well worth reading. I have a copy if anybody wants to borrow it. In fact, I have lots of copies. This past December he was running a special on his books and Carl and I bought a whole bunch to start giving away as wedding presents. Yes, I know we are dorks. In the next 6 months we hope to have our 6 month emergency fund saved and start paying down the mortgage. Wish us luck!

E-Mealz- About a month ago Carl and I started using www.e-mealz.com to help with our meal planning (for the record, we heard about E-Mealz from Dave Ramsey's show). It costs $5 per month but you have to pay for 3 months at a time. Each week we go to the website and it gives us our meal plan (with recipes) and grocery list for that week. There are several different plans to choose from but you can only choose one. You choose how large your family is and what grocery store you shop at. We use the low-fat Wal-Mart meal plan for two. For the first time in my 8 & 1/2 year marriage I actually enjoy cooking. I always know there is something to cook for dinner and my grocery budget has actually gone down.

Jazzercise- When I'm not working Monday, Wednesday, or Friday mornings I attend a Jazzercise class at one of the church houses in town. I thoroughly enjoy it. The instructor's name is Esther and she is so much fun. We joke that we need our "Esthercise." I'm not the most consistent attendee, but I try to go as much as possible.

The fact that January is over- Many of you know how much I loathe January. Well, not only is January over but February is almost over too. That means Spring is on the way!!

Planning for Trek- Every four years our stake takes the 14-18 year olds up to Martin's Cove, Wyoming for a trek experience. This year is a trek year and Carl and I were called as the Ward Trek Coordinators. This means that we will coordinate all of the Trek preparations for our ward and that we get to go with the youth and act as a "Ma and Pa." It will be a lot of work but I am so excited for the experience. It has the possibility to be life changing.

The Olympics- Ever since the Olympics came to Salt Lake in 2002, I have loved watching the Olympics. This year is no exception. I have really enjoyed watching these games in Vancouver. In a way I am kind of relieved they are almost over though. I need to get my life back!

Thanks for reading this indulgent post! If the joy is found in the journey, than I am doing my best to find it.